“Who among you is wise and understanding? Let him show by his good behavior his deeds in the gentleness of wisdom. […T]he wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy. And the seed whose fruit is righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.”
— James 3:13,17–18
It’s true: I had shut down my emotions and desires in a bid for self-mastery. I have been grossly unemotional. Unhealthily unemotional.
Why? In summary, it goes like this: As I enter high school, my slight streak of irresponsibility and forgetfulness with my homework becomes intolerable to me. At the same time, middle- and high-school romantic relationships lead to heartbreak after heartbreak.
In that environment begins my yen for absolute self-mastery. I’m tired of the disappointment I feel coming from teachers about how sharp I am, if only I could remember my homework. I’m tired of having my heart broken and (later) kissing and breaking hearts because I can’t control myself. So, what do I want more than anything? Self-control.
Emotions and desires were making me flaky, irresponsible, and ashamed. So I shut them down.
(There may be earlier environmental elements related to the way Mom and Dad parented me that set me up for this. I’m not sure they matter at this time.)
The action points become clear: Call out and act on my feelings. Fan the flames of desire. When I feel a desire for something emotional, I should indulge that desire rather than the “task before me.” Meeting my emotional needs and the emotional needs of others is almost always more important than any task I’ve put before me on Remember the Milk.
In other words, I need to get better at feeling. And then, as always, do what I want.
By the way, I am certainly an avoider in the Yerkovich scheme laid out in How We Love. Knowing as much should make the book much more useful, eh?
“I was a lover before this war.”
— TV on the Radio, in a lyric that at the moment reminds me of my comment to Carla last night, “Who needs emotions? They’re so unreliable.”
It occurs to me for perhaps the first time ever that going for emotional connection is a worthy goal in life. Like, that should be the primary thing I’m trying to do with the people closest to me.
It occurs to me for perhaps the first time ever that going for emotional connection is a worthy goal in life. Like, that should be the primary thing I’m trying to do with the people closest to me.
Give to those who ask of you doesn’t apply merely to money. It also applies to time, and it’s a fine guiding principle to those who ask to hang out with me.
Give to those who ask of you doesn’t apply merely to money. It also applies to time, and it’s a fine guiding principle to those who ask to hang out with me.
How do you decide between living an ordinary life extraordinarily (i.e., what I’m attempting with my status quo) and making extraordinary choices that lead to living in extraordinary circumstances (e.g., moving to Fishtown). The latter calls, but very indistinctly.
John 4 also prompts me to ask: Are there people I keep distant from merely because they’re different from me?
“True prosperity comes when you make your business the prosperity of others.”
— David Snyder (his personal mission statement)
“Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth.”
—Paul, Colossians 3
The only way to master something or become an expert in something is to practice and dig, dig, dig. The sooner I start doing this, the sooner I get happier about my skill set.
Note to self: Children must never be allowed to get their way when we’re making a reasonable request of them simply because they holler about it.
“You’re so understanding it’s driving me crazy!”
— Scott, of Carla
RE: bin Laden’s death: If God doesn’t take any pleasure in the death of the wicked, neither then shall I.