I re-read an email from my mom today, and line therein precipitated some religious anxiety in me:
However, God is faithful and I know His truth will prevail.
I wondered rhetorically to her: How do you know that His truth will prevail in my life? Has it prevailed in Jami’s life? Jessica’s? Every believer you know? For that matter, how do I know to what extent God was directly involved in my own recent salvation from the cliffs of doubt? Did He actually do anything? I certainly can’t think of anything obviously supernatural that happened to help bring me back. Was it all just my own? Sure, I am rich in friends, some of whom have miracle accounts, and Carla’s support and uptick in libido sure helped. But how do I thank Him for a role I’m not sure He played? And if He didn’t play that role, what does that mean about Him and His will for our lives? Does He even exist? Wouldn’t be easier to explain the lack of miraculous intervention to save me from doubt by saying He simply doesn’t?