I write this to as a Christian to Christians in hopes of introducing a meme that’ll benefit the next generation of Christians: I’d like to float out there that evangelical Christian culture idolizes marriage such that some would-be avid do-gooders choose to get married and start a family without knowing the consequences it’ll have on their capacity for extra-familial ministry. Check out Paul on the subject:

One who is unmarried is concerned about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife, and his interested are divided (1 Corinthians 7:32-34).

My experience so far as a family man bears this out: I am less at liberty, time-wise and energy-wise, to minister to others because I must also minister to my wife and children.

Is that a bad thing? Of course not. I delight in giving myself to my family. I wouldn’t have gotten married and had kids if I didn’t. But I didn’t realize the extent to which doing so would impinge on my availability to others.

And I think I didn’t realize it because it’s nowhere to be found in the discourse of the Christianity in which I grew up.