“I just wanted to tell you that seeing you with your daughter in the store and hearing the way you talk to her has been a gift to me today.”

— a woman in the Giant parking lot this morning at the end of a grocery trip with Éa

Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why have you become disturbed within me? Hope in God, for I shall again praise Him For the help of His presence (Psalm 42:5).

Watch over your heart with all diligence, For from it flow the springs of life (Proverbs 4:23).

The hearts of the sons of men are full of evil and insanity is in their hearts throughout their lives (Ecclesiastes 9:3).

Rejoice, young man, during your childhood, and let your heart be pleasant during the days of young manhood. And follow the impulses of your heart and the desires of your eyes. Yet know that God will bring you to judgment for all these things (Ecclesiastes 11:9).

The heart is more deceitful than all else And is desperately sick (Jeremiah 17:9).

You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind (Matthew 22:37).

For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed the evil thoughts, fornications, thefts, murders, adulteries… (Mark 7:21).

Do not let your heart be...

What this journal needs? An audience. Otherwise, the writing is flaccid and the utility, even to myself, is minimal. If I write with an audience, there’ll be punch, and there’ll be a point.

So, from now on, I will write with a specific audience in mind. The obvious choice? The kids.

Éa, most of these eight swim class evenings you roamed the bleachers while Mom watched. I spectated with her twice, although the second time I came, I mostly meandered through the school lobby with you, appreciating athletic trophies and girls basketball practice with you. You were mesmerized by the girls’ dribbling skills.

Since I’m always looking for lessons, I’ll say the the main lesson I gain from yesterday evening is that there is value to meandering with someone. I felt closer to you, Éa, because of the twenty minutes we spent ambling through the North Building lobby.

Sullivan, You enjoyed yourself in the water very much. And you made friends easily, including Lily, a fellow Houservillian with purple hair with whom you always ran out ahead of Mom and Lily’s grandma after class was over and you were heading home.

Methinks I might want to build a habit of stopping to consider whether I should connect and/or recommend people on LinkedIn and Facebook after every time I interact with them in person. Again, just consider, not do it all the time.

The most significant thing to happen to me on this very agreeable today (kitchen-cleaning soundtrack notwithstanding) is that I was able to work in my office while standing for several hours today without stiffness or discomfort. Thank You, God. For the health of my back, I intend to work a standing position in to my daily work life.

“To sum up, all of you be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted, and humble in spirit… (1 Peter 3:8).

I’ve been praying this a lot recently for Carla, the kids, and myself, and I think You’re answering my prayer. Thank You.

The most significant thing to happen to me today was a visit from Jami and Jordan. We chatted in the sunroom, stuffed ourselves into Jami’s Honda Fit, bought a shelf bracket and some window plastic from Ace Hardware (where Sullivan’s, Éa’s, & Carla’s eyes all got very wide) from fetched milk and ice cream from Meyer Dairy, did a very quick motor tour of parts of campus for Jordan, picked up two pizzas from Corrinado’s, ate together & watched the film below so Jordan could do his Nutrition class homework.

The most significant thing to happen to me today is that I car-, er, truckpooled with Ethan and Ben up to Philipsburg to work at DiamondBack. It’s significant for a few reasons: Ethan and I reconnected during lunch about his life and about the future direction of DiamondBack (especially creating a “spiritual space” for transformation), I reconnected with several other folks in Philipsburg, and, I met Ben, our Christian finance director, who living on Clover Road is a neighbor of mine with two children contemporary in age to my own. It was a big step in rooting myself more deeply in a company whose culture and bottom line seem to only be getting better.

“Jesus, knowing that the Father had given all things into His hands, and that He had come forth from God and was going back to God, got up from supper, and laid aside His garments; and taking a towel, He girded Himself. Then He poured water into the basin, and began to wash the disciples’ feet and to wipe them with the towel with which He was girded” (John 13:3-5).

Since we know that You have given us all things into our hands via Jesus, and that we have come forth from You and are going back to you, may we get up from our suppers, lay aside our garments, and start washing feet.

“this morning is prime to send you a rhyme which speaks to your heart to say yours, I’m.”

— Carla, in one of two verses she emailed me this morning

“Daddy, will you draw me a picture of Jesus?”

— Éa, at the end of a bedtime conversation that started, “When you die, do you stop moving?” and included “I don’t want to die,” brief tears, and a “Don’t worry, Darling. We all die, but Jesus will bring us back to life again.” Carla pointed out that Éa will probably take that to mean that we “bounce back” to life immediately after dying. This was a terrifying conversation to have, because I don’t want to glib, but I don’t want to talk over her head, but I don’t want to mince the truth. God, You gave this girl to us. Help!

In other news, Carla won a seat on College Township Council today.

Material elements of having a hospitable house:

• non-pretentiousness
• plenty of food well-presented
• good sheets
• well-made bed
• private space
• clutter free
• coffee table books
• comfy couches
• well-designed, inviting space (No Big House)
• place for outerwear
• inviting walkway
• placesettings

The most significant thing to happen to me today was the time Sullivan, Éa & I spent at the Historic Harvest Festival at Millbrook Marsh. I got the chance enact what I had resolved at the Arboretum’s ForestFest: Dig in to festivals with time, money, and participation because let’s face it: I love them. We rode bikes to the marsh, put a bandage on the abrasion Sullivan got from his bike pedals during a bike path spill, pet the giant bunnies, ate hot dogs, saw taxidermy, ponies, bonsai trees, falcons, arrowheads, a cider press, the Harts, Bill Sharp, and Charlotte, Etta & Marin, poke light holes in aluminum foil. Oh, and Sullivan got third place in his heat of the donut-on-a-string contest, and I got third place in the adult bracket of the pie eating contest.

The most significant thing to happen to me today was that (at my insistence — the only sign of real kick I’ve put into Carla’s campaign in recent weeks) we did our last day of canvassing for Carla’s campaign for College Township Council. It happened to be at a time when the Nittany Lions and the Illini were tied, 17-17, at the end of the Penn State football game. So we didn’t knock; we just left flyers in doors. And we got to meet the triceratops that lives at Michelle’s house behind the Peters’ house.

Jesus specializes in bringing joy and life to sad, desolate places. Sometimes He arrives what appears to be too late.

But it’s never too late for Jesus to come through. Find your hope in Him.

Today was my last day as a salaried West Arête employee. As much as I know I made the right decision in choosing to return to DiamondBack, I will miss them, especially Ryan.

Carla suggested it would be a good idea to write down the reasoning behind my decision to about-face and work for DiamondBack full-time forever.

In brief: Working for West Arête a little bit enabled me to see that I’ve been the victim of a bad case of grass-is-greener syndrome for years. I’ve decided to go back to working full-time for DiamondBack, with no plans to seek alternative employment in the foreseeable future.

Less brief: God, You helped me dispel the myth of the golden-haired woman in my own life sometime in between when I broke things off with Val and when I started dating Carla. But we never applied the same metaphor to my career: I’ve been believing the myth of the golden-haired job probably since my time at Teen Mania. (What Color Is Your Parachute? probably didn’t help.)

“Everything about working for DiamondBack is great, except for the fact that it’s truck bed covers.” I’ve been saying that for two years now. I ignored the first clause, however, and concentrated...

New habit to form: Any time I’m tempted to think or express a grumble, I will deny the thought but use it as a prompt to thank God or people for something.

I do not use trash cans as places to store stuff any more.

— Scott, defending himself when challenged to report why the children’s not-yet-empty toothpaste was sitting in the garbage

Part of the feelings & reasoning that went into the DiamondBack/West Arête decision

Long-term happiness on the job comes most easily where one has mastered 80% of the job at hand and is faced with about 20% new and challenging material. Mastery comes from extended practice, which is only possible with time and a mind to improve. Time and a mind to improve come from being committed to a job. (Same with a marriage.) Plus, being committed to a job in and of itself results in happiness simply because you’re not looking elsewhere.

So, it boiled down to: At which company will I have the easiest time keeping an active commitment to my post? That answer was easy: The place I’ve already helped build, the place that is familiar, the place that allows me to work from home and lets me dice my vacation time up into minutes that I can take virtually whenever I want.

What a weekend. I decided I want to go back to DiamondBack. Church helped a lot. Ethan is amenable, he thinks, so it’s mostly pending Brandon’s approval. I think he’ll say yes.

That means I need to prepare for an uncomfortable conversation with Scott Woods.

Carla: Oh my God, living with you is like living in a legal document!
Scott: Oh my god, living with you is like living in oatmeal!

Scott: Éa, would you mind if I put on some tunes?
Éa: Yeah.
Scott [to clarify]: Should I put on some tunes?
Éa: Yeah.
Scott: Any objections anyone?
Éa: Tunes! But don’t put on any objections!

I want one of those ballet shirts with a butt and a labia.

— Éa, in reference to buying a leotard