I put the “concentrate mightily” bit into action today at work. And I enjoyed work more today than I have in a while.
Grumpiness is a sign that I have not properly handled some other negative emotion. Today, for instance, I didn’t properly handle my feeling tired, having run from to grocery shopping with Éa to unpacking the car to choosing a Christmas tree to decorating for Christmas with Janet over, all without taking a breath.
Put another way, I didn’t guard my heart, tending to it when it was tired, and as a result, it, my wellspring of life (Proverbs 4:23) started to taste bad.
I need to start exploring and expressing negative emotions before they herniate as grumpiness.
(Once again, this mini-revelation came after I asked God to speak to me.)
We stopped in Danville on our way home from Rowland to pick up a brace-and-bit. Cassie Weaver had picked it up for us. We got to see her apartment, nibble on some fudge her mom had graciously given her to give to us, watch a few minutes of the PSU-Wisconsin football game, and then treat her to chicken cheese steak dinner at the sub shop across the street from the Danville Sub Shop, whatever its name is.
All that to say: I’d like to start incorporating friendly and relaxing stopovers into all our trips. Doing so would break up the drive, build relationships, and often lead to yummy food.
Shortly after praying tonight that God help me connect with Him, I was reminded that I feel most connected to Him when I apply deliberate, singular concentration to whatever it is I’m doing. I’m so easily distracted by other things I want that I think this serial single-mindedness good practice regardless of its capacity for facilitating divine connection.
NB: Not only concentration, but might. As it’s written: “Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men” (Colossians 3:23) and “Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might; for there is no activity or planning or knowledge or wisdom in Sheol where you are going” (Ecclesiastes 9:10).
Now that I’m back to multi-day stretches when I barely leave the house, the “most significant thing that happened to me today” will likely be boring. Like this one.
“You don’t know in advance whether God is going to set you to do something difficult or painful, or something that you will quite like; and some people of heroic mould are disappointed when the job doled out to them turns out to be something quite nice.”
— C.S. Lewis, God in the Dock (p. 53–54), in response to “Is it true that Christians must be prepared to live a life of personal discomfort and sacrifice in order to qualify for ‘Pie in the Sky’?”
The recent thing You’ve been emphasizing to me is the part he says about folks with the ‘heroic mould.’
Not much went on today (for me, anyway—the kids had a snow day and dentist appointments, and Carla is on the verge of her doula gig for Rebecca Lundin), so I’ll say that the most important thing from today was my continued procrastination in doing the DiamondBack manuals work. I prayed for Your help, though, so hopefully tomorrow will bring an improvement in dedication (despite Carla likely being out doula’ing or just out of commission from having doula’ed).
Oh, and there: It’s my first Internet cat pic, taken by Carla while we worked on Christmas shopping from the futon mattress in its living room configuration:
At Barb’s prompting at church today with some help from having talked with Ethan last night, I recapped what I meant by church last week having changed my life: In the same way that I’ve ceased wanting to be a great singer and begun just singing, blowing away my received application of Matthew 24:14 has finally allowed me to cease wanting to be a great Christian and begin just Christ-ing.
Carla and I parted ways for the evening after a noisy, meh-but-enjoyable “food fair” (glorified, overpriced kosher hot dog party) at Congregation Brit Shalom: She to a council meeting, the kids and I downtown for the tree lighting ceremony. We missed the actual lighting by literally three seconds but enjoyed the tree anyway, along with hot chocolate, popcorn, secular Christmas tunes, Animal Kingdom, the bathroom at Irving’s with Éa while Sullivan waiting in line with Lucy S-M & her mom, dancing on my shoulders, and Sullivan on Santa’s lap asking for mittens and a whole dinosaur skeleton for Christmas.
But the real pick of the day today is how much time I spent crafting simple HTML email signatures at work. Was it a waste of time? My desires said no, but perhaps it wasn’t the highest priority. Why do I let myself get carried away with trifles?
“Beloved, I pray that in all respects you may prosper and be in good health, just as your soul prospers” (3 John 2).
This is for you, friend: This verse is a greeting and general prayer for well-being for Gaius, not unlike what we would write in a letter today (if we really meant it), not evidence that all Christians should be wealthy.
“I have no greater joy than this, to hear of my children walking in the truth” (3 John 4).
This is my prayer for my children. Please hear it.
“For they went out for the sake of the Name, accepting nothing from the Gentiles. Therefore we ought to support such men, so that we may be fellow workers with the truth” (3 John 7-8)
God, I want to be a fellow worker with the truth. That’s why I want to join in Your work in the Maldives somehow. (And this is a good, healthier replacement for great, self-sacrificial interpretation of Matthew 24:14 that the church obliterated for me last week.)
To further Sullivan’s penchant for architecture and craft, and at his request, we made paper airplanes today in my office for our date. We also did some tangrams right before bed—and he beat me in making the square.
Rich Biever sent me good news today: Rehearsals for LES MIS start two days after the Choral Society’s spring concert and go for just four weeks before curtain. That means an intense rehearsal schedule, but a compact one. That’s good news for my relationships with Carla, Sullivan & Éa, and it’s good news for our budget (less babysitting needed because of concurrent township council meetings).
Don, a fellow tenor at the Choral Society, shared with me this evening that last week at his usual post-rehearsal social hour at Texas Roadhouse, Russ Shelley, the music director of the Choral Society, gushed momentarily about the beauty and power of my voice.
Obviously, that’s a heady sort of thing to hear. It inspires me to pursue more opportunities to share my voice. But at first, at least, this inspiration feels akin to the addictive high that I imagine you get from using recreational drugs. That’s dangerous.
It’s good to sing for my own enjoyment (or Yours, God), and it’s good to sing to delight someone else. But it’s unhealthy to sing to elicit praise.
Father, as I get deeper into singing performance in State College, please protect me from the intoxicating effects of people’s praise.
To put it roughly, church today obliterated the misapplication of Matthew 24:14, so continually argued by John Piper, the Perspectives course I took at the Teen Mania Honor Academy, and really, every missiologist I’ve ever encountered, that we all must be involved in world evangelization in some way or else we are less-than Christians. That if the idea that if Matthew 24:14 doesn’t move me to proactively involved myself missions, then I don’t actually love Jesus’ coming or love God with all my heart, mind, soul & strength.
The removal of this thorn in my devotional side is a big deal: As Matt and I discussed during our walk on Friday, neither of us has ever been able to completely shake the idea that we are falling short because we haven’t yet made an extraordinary, life-altering, self-sacrificial decision for the sake of others’ God-borne happiness. I think I have finally shrugged if off.
In its place, the idea is that I can be the “sort of people [I] ought…to be in holy conduct...
// read full article →“I just wanted to tell you that seeing you with your daughter in the store and hearing the way you talk to her has been a gift to me today.”
— a woman in the Giant parking lot this morning at the end of a grocery trip with Éa
// read full article →Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why have you become disturbed within me? Hope in God, for I shall again praise Him For the help of His presence (Psalm 42:5).
Watch over your heart with all diligence, For from it flow the springs of life (Proverbs 4:23).
The hearts of the sons of men are full of evil and insanity is in their hearts throughout their lives (Ecclesiastes 9:3).
Rejoice, young man, during your childhood, and let your heart be pleasant during the days of young manhood. And follow the impulses of your heart and the desires of your eyes. Yet know that God will bring you to judgment for all these things (Ecclesiastes 11:9).
The heart is more deceitful than all else And is desperately sick (Jeremiah 17:9).
You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind (Matthew 22:37).
For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed the evil thoughts, fornications, thefts, murders, adulteries… (Mark 7:21).
Do not let your heart be...
What this journal needs? An audience. Otherwise, the writing is flaccid and the utility, even to myself, is minimal. If I write with an audience, there’ll be punch, and there’ll be a point.
So, from now on, I will write with a specific audience in mind. The obvious choice? The kids.
Éa, most of these eight swim class evenings you roamed the bleachers while Mom watched. I spectated with her twice, although the second time I came, I mostly meandered through the school lobby with you, appreciating athletic trophies and girls basketball practice with you. You were mesmerized by the girls’ dribbling skills.
Since I’m always looking for lessons, I’ll say the the main lesson I gain from yesterday evening is that there is value to meandering with someone. I felt closer to you, Éa, because of the twenty minutes we spent ambling through the North Building lobby.
Sullivan, You enjoyed yourself in the water very much. And you made friends easily, including Lily, a fellow Houservillian with purple hair with whom you always ran out ahead of Mom and Lily’s grandma after class was over and you were heading home.
Methinks I might want to build a habit of stopping to consider whether I should connect and/or recommend people on LinkedIn and Facebook after every time I interact with them in person. Again, just consider, not do it all the time.
The most significant thing to happen to me on this very agreeable today (kitchen-cleaning soundtrack notwithstanding) is that I was able to work in my office while standing for several hours today without stiffness or discomfort. Thank You, God. For the health of my back, I intend to work a standing position in to my daily work life.
“To sum up, all of you be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted, and humble in spirit… (1 Peter 3:8).
I’ve been praying this a lot recently for Carla, the kids, and myself, and I think You’re answering my prayer. Thank You.
The most significant thing to happen to me today was a visit from Jami and Jordan. We chatted in the sunroom, stuffed ourselves into Jami’s Honda Fit, bought a shelf bracket and some window plastic from Ace Hardware (where Sullivan’s, Éa’s, & Carla’s eyes all got very wide) from fetched milk and ice cream from Meyer Dairy, did a very quick motor tour of parts of campus for Jordan, picked up two pizzas from Corrinado’s, ate together & watched the film below so Jordan could do his Nutrition class homework.
The most significant thing to happen to me today is that I car-, er, truckpooled with Ethan and Ben up to Philipsburg to work at DiamondBack. It’s significant for a few reasons: Ethan and I reconnected during lunch about his life and about the future direction of DiamondBack (especially creating a “spiritual space” for transformation), I reconnected with several other folks in Philipsburg, and, I met Ben, our Christian finance director, who living on Clover Road is a neighbor of mine with two children contemporary in age to my own. It was a big step in rooting myself more deeply in a company whose culture and bottom line seem to only be getting better.