Telling someone they “have been” something is more empowering a way of truth-telling than telling them they “are” something. It leaves the future open for change.

My new motto is: “Live every day like it’s your last.” And no, that does not mean find a hospital, go there, find a room and lay down, eyes twitching…

— Sullivan

I must learn how to recognize when it is time to take a break. It is a combination of the demands of my soul and the demands of the world around me. At some crossover point the demands of my soul win.

I enjoyed today how although I was worried that I wasn’t going to be able to bring anything to church, at the last minute as we approached our taking of the wine and bread, I thought of “What A Friend I’ve Found” by Delirious?, which I had just run through with Carla, the Rookes, and Ben last weekend on a whim. I need to remember not to worry so much. Just follow my whim. Especially with music making. I ought not make music simply because I have a voice for it. I ought to make music when it is in the service of love only. Is love the post hoc pretext that covers a selfish ambition for praise or usefulness? Or is love the actual, prompting reason I’m doing the singing? Let it always be the latter.

Carla reports that last night, out of the blue before bed, Éa said, “I think that Daddy’s mune to stuff.”

“You think he’s immune? To what?” replied Carla.

“No, the opposite of that. Mune.”

“I don’t think that’s a word.”

“Really? Well then what’s the opposite of ‘immune’?”

“Susceptible.”

“What?! That sounds like some sort of a….PORT a potty! …like ‘appropriate receptacle’! (lots of laughter by both parties)”

“The dark paradox, then, is this: the more we seek to alleviate our loneliness through digital connectivity, the more lonely we will feel. Along the way, we will forsake solitude as a matter of course. Curiously, it may not even be loneliness as a desire for companionship that the design of social media fosters in us. Rather, it is a counterfeit longing that is generated: for stimulation rather than companionship. In the end, we will be left with the most profound loneliness: perpetually feeling a need for connection that we cannot satisfy and finding that we have not even our own company. To recap: no abiding sense of companionship, no solitude, no place for thought.”

— Michael Sacasas, “Solitude and Loneliness”

It’s the smartphone, damnit. That’s what bring early-morning anxiety: The fact that the first thing I touch in the morning.

OK, this is something like the fifth idea I have for why I feel a little anxiety in my thorax and abdomen when I wake up these days.

Is it possible that the anxiety that arises in me when I read the opinions of folks on the Internet about God arises because I overestimate other people’s reasonability?

Rules Governing Scheduling Engagements

In a given week, I will schedule:

• zero social appointments during a workday,
• no more than one pre-workday social appointment,
• minimal workday appointments for household business,
• no more than four midevening engagements, including no more than one that pulls me away from the children,
• no more than one late-evening appointment (e.g., movie night, phone conversation) if I have more than one project going, but up to three such appointments when I am keeping to my one-project-at-a-time limit,
• anything I care to Saturday & Sunday before dinner, and
• anything appealing that I care to schedule that presents itself same day.

In a given month, I will schedule no more than two travel weekends, whose evenings count toward the midevening engagement constraint.

Additionally, I will not forget the Sabbath.

Finally, to stick to all the above, I will become well-rehearsed in saying, “Let me get back to you.”

It’s time to build house, home, and family. It’s time to say no to other stuff. It’s time to bang out a deer or two, bang out a website for the Houserville Community Garden, then one for Mike, then one for church. It’s not time to travel. It’s not time to sing out. It’s time to prepare to be foster parents again.

Reading Twitter will ruin my life.

It’s a really good idea to swear off screens for Sundays, at least through bedtime.

Stick to the plan, that’s all. Just stick to the plan.

I’d love to read during my half-hourly work breaks, but that defeats the purpose of the work breaks: To give my attentional resources time to recharge.

After an evening with Ben for the Roomful of Teeth concert at Schwab Auditorium, a lunchtime with Ernest yesterday, and a long campus walk with Mark last night, I reported to the Rookes that Carla says I abuse introverts. I hope it’s not true. Lord, may I be slow to speak.

Retiring for bed as soon as I could after the kids were in bed last night? The best decision I made all October (other than renting a bike in Seattle).

I must remember this every time I am tempted to press the 11 o’clock bedtime envelope.

Note to self: an increase in irrationality, peevishness, or moodiness that has no quickly identifiable cause is probably due to being some combination of undersexed and overtired. The end of Daylight Savings Time has wrecked me this week.

I am most comfortable in situations where I feel the superior. This is probably true of most people, but I noticed it this evening when my friend and his new squeeze came over with his sons at Sullivan’s request.

Would that I would take that comfort in my own skin with me in all social settings.

How shall I spend my spare attention these days, now that Noah and Dylan have gone home? On my family, I think.

I want include idle solitude in my life. I also want to read Richard Foster again.

I think it’ll just be simpler if I teetotal.

I am grateful for Sullivan’s ingenuity, which he displayed in rare simplicity yesterday when I decided—the sagacious father that I am—to ask him how he would secure to the roof the one length of droopy Christmas lights. He asked, simply, “Dad, what is our roof made out of?” “Steel,” I replied. “Oh! Just use some of our magnetic clips from the refrigerator!” Later that day, I did. And it worked well.

I am also thankful for Carla’s helpfulness, which she displayed when she wrapped the books I plan to give to Aniyah and Axton for Christmas without me asking her to do it. When someone swoops down to do something from my to-do list without me having to prompt it, it is very loving to me.

I set up my sit-stand desk this afternoon, courtesy of DiamondBack Truck Covers and Varidesk. Here’s to my long-term physical health. Now to get a standing mat.

Carla has been peevish recently. But so have I. It’s a cycle. I realized one way to break the cycle is to drop my expectation that anyone, including my wife and kids, act perfectly lovingly all the time. I don’t, so why should I expect them to?

I’ll go further: When a demand is made of me or a disagreement voiced, let my first instinct be to satisfy the demand or come to accord quickly and happily. Obviously, I won’t be a pushover, but I will be a volunteer, a happy second-miler.

Here’s an approachable, thorough article about easy measures you can take to extend the battery life of your iPhone between charges, courtesy of former Apple employee David Payette.