Scott Stilson


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Carla and I watched Transcendence (2014) last night as per Instructions. It probably couldn’t have been more perfect taken as a message from God: People think Him less than human and misconstrue intentions. But, as Paul Bettany’s character Max says at the end of the film, ”He created this garden for the same reason he did everything. So they could be together”—the “they” being us. His intentions are purely loving and beneficent, even if His methods are foreign to us.

And that’s just the core of what you can take from it. It can get much richer than that.

I saw an IMDb post entitled, “Humanity Lucks Out With A Benevolant AI God, And They End Him?!?” Isn’t that just what we’re doing with God?

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I am grateful for the brief moments of fun Sullivan and I had at the edge of Struble Lake today playing with the Harbor Freight “Neptune” RC boat that Dad had bought a year or two ago. I should emphasize brief moments the remote control started smoking and stinking through the inverter switch ports after about one trip out and back by each of us. But that was most of the fun! For the sake of continuing relationship, I should remember to ask Dad about the results of his postmortem on the remote.

I am grateful for the folks at PBS Kids, who air such entertaining, sweet-hearted children’s programming as Curious George and Wild Kratts, both of which enjoyed alongside Kathy and Uncle Mike while sitting at the kitchen table at Dad’s house today.

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I am grateful for the moment of clarify I had reading Romans 14 this evening: If I let Paul’s use of the word “doubt” (diakrino) in vv. 22-23 interpret James use of the same word in James 1:5-8, then it is clear that Boyd’s thesis about “doubt” not being synonymous with uncertainty is true.

Actually, reading all of Romans 14, which touches on ritually-based vegetarianism and people following their own consciences, was exciting.

I am grateful for the light resolution I made while on my evening walk tonight that I can thank God for everything good and usually thank someone else for everything, too—a resolution I put into practice by thanking Christian Carion for making Joyeux Noël, which we watched with the Rookes last night.

I am grateful for Carla, whose beauty and diligence inspire me.

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Calvin and Hobbes discuss how conversations often focus on TV and movies rather than real-life interactions, leading to Calvin lamenting about not having a TV in his room.

This is how I feel.

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If, when I’m old, you were to ask me to tell you one thing about my life as it was today, I predict I’d tell you it was I day I think—I hope—I turned a corner in my character. You see, since screening the finale of the second season of Gatiss & Moffatt’s Sherlock this past Saturday, entitled “The Reichenbach Fall” (and probably a good bit before then), I had been obsessing over the show: obsessing about its plot, obsessing about its characters, obsessing about its actors, and obsessing about its writers. I was obsessing about my decision to stop watching it because of my obsession.

I needed to be rescued from all this.

And it’s more than Sherlock: In recent months, I have spent far too much time and attention setting up operating systems, selecting an iPhone case, and other such minutiae. I prioritize trivialities. And it robs me of life (and steals from DiamondBack).

We have overcome perfectionism. We have overcome stoniness. We have overcome self-distraction at work. We have overcome religious doubt. (All of the above are still works in progress, but they are works well on their way with clear paths to completion.) Perhaps now we can take on obsessiveness and the resulting misprioritization.

Deliberation, yes: You do that about problems and decisions. Cogitation, yes: You do that about profundities. Obsession, no: You do that, by definition, with things you ought not to. And I know what it feels like.

If you’re going to obsess about anything, do it about giving yourself for the benefit of other people.

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You can almost see the Sherlock characters’ eyes: I’m doing this only because the writers are making me.

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Titillation and puzzlement and not virtues of fiction, Sherlock.

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I don’t want to watch any more Sherlock. The show has reached comic-book levels of convolution after just two seasons that simultaneously fascinate and bore me at the same time. The boredom alone is reason enough to discontinue watching, and the fascination is distracting in the same way every other superhero franchise is.

Convolution ≠ intrigue.

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Just watched: La Grande Illusion (1937) directed and co-written by Jean Renoir.

What is the great illusion? Is it national borders? Is it the idea that this war would be the one to end them all? That war can be gentlemanly? That war is worth it?

Anyway, this movie stands alongside The Best Years of Our Lives, Dr. Strangelove, and The Bridge on the River Kwai as one of the best antiwar films I’ve seen. (I haven’t watched Apocalypse Now yet.) But less like Strangelove and more like Best Years of Our Lives in that all the characters are very human. These are people fighting, dammit. Makes me want to rewatch The Rules of the Game because Renoir is so good. Perfect, transparent acting. Bonding people across class and nationality, yet sometimes having to stick to those, too. In the end, So very human. A perfect film. Definitely worth watching. If this was Jean Renoir’s outlook on people, we could all stand to learn. Finally, a French film and a French director Carla and I enjoy with no reservations! Full of bits of philosophy that are never heavy-handed.

It is curious that we never see the life of a foot soldier in this movie. But I suppose you write about what you know. But we do see a black man. And refreshingly, he is not a buffoon or a mammy or any other black stereotype.

A New Yorker writer: “Sophistication at the service of innocence, not cynicism or chic: That’s the glory of “Grand Illusion” as a narrative, a showcase for transcendent acting, a piece of philosophy in action, and a leap into pure cinema.”

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Some tired thoughts on this Swing Time (1936), which is the first film Carla and I have repeat-watched from the greatest lists. Is Swing Time worth watching? Yes. Like we did with Top Hat, we shared some of the dance numbers with the kids. We weren’t sure what to do with the Bojangles number at the time; Wikipedia now tells us that the Bojangles is a real person to whom (with one other guy) Astaire was paying tribute, not aping. Carla and I agree it’s the better of the Astaire-Rogers films we watched, although I’m more tickled with the dancing in Top Hat. It’s the faces, though, in this one, like Ginger’s when she comes to plant a kiss on Fred in his dressing room, fails, and then they kiss behind a closed door. Close-ups of Fred toward the end when he finds out Ginger is going to marry the Metaxa character. Fred Astaire looks more like JImmy Stewart in this one. We shared the dance numbers with the kids. Interesting how central a role cheating plays in this one. More believeable, this one. Again, those dresses. Must’ve been quite the pick-me-up during the Depression. Worth watching.

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I hypothesize that the reason folks like me are OK with watching movie violence and less OK with watching movie sex is that the latter arouses feelings and potentially even action, while the former does not.

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Carla and I failed to find Abel Gance’s Napoléon for gratis streaming online, so we talked on the loveseat about same-sex marriage, our church, the knowledge of good and evil and whether, and Psalm 91. We enjoy one another’s company and thoughts and genuinely admire one another. (Carla cleaned up dried sewage from our basement floor this afternoon.) As I sat down the kitchen table to close the day with a journal entry, we had the following nigh-Familypants-worthy exchange:

Carla: I like Josh Ambrose. Scott: He’s always playing the educated agnostic. Carla: I like that. Scott: That’s because you’re an educated agnostic.

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Further evidence that I just need do what I want to do: I felt lighthearted and happy when Carla and the kids returned from hanging out at Peters’ house and I was just wrapping up my Saturday to-do list.

By why should a list of tasks weigh on me so?

Anyway, we capped an evening of work on the Choral Society website and a watercolor portrait from a photo of Éa with the perfectly oneiric, rightly acclaimed, but not all that entertaining Un chien andalou. We’re nearing the end of the silent film era in our quest to watch our chronological way through the BFI Sight & Sound 2012 Critics’ Poll.

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Carla and I disagree about the overall merit of The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (2012). It comes down to this: I want an artist to do these adaptations. Peter Jackson is more like the captain of a theme park boat ride.

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After another Christmas morning, an afternoon wave of sleepiness, and a delicious, heartfelt Christmas feast courtesy mostly of Mom, the Stilson siblings, Felix, and Carla went to see the above movie as our gift to one another. It was a good one, and I hope it’s a small beginning in a new tradition: My siblings and I purposely spending time with one another when we’re around. Carla is much better at that than I.

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I feel a certain loneliness today, a longing for fellowship. It’s probably because Carla is sick and spent most of the day in bed, although it feels like I’ve been missing something for a while now, a need for a best friend with whom I share not only interests, proximity, and mutual affection, but also approach to God, approach to self-conduct, and way of thinking. No friend of mine thinks like I do. Ethan is the closest I can think of. Perhaps I need to drop him a line.

Nonetheless, Carla and I did finally finish Greed (1924) this evening together. It was an excellent film that prompted me to pray, “Lord, please keep us from being deceived by money.”

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The scary part wiggled your head a little.

— Sullivan, after having watched portions of How to Train Your Dragon at a family friend’s house 🍿