“You’re so understanding it’s driving me crazy!”
— Scott, of Carla
Carla: Why were you acting so weird?
Scott: What do you mean? I wasn’t acting weird: I was being MYSELF!
“What is it with you thinking that I’m a snot-o-phage? I am not a snot-o-phage.”
— Scott, defending himself against nose-related insinuations
“Why would we compost them when I can convert them directly into biochemical energy?”
— Scott, answering Carla as to why he was going to eat a bag of freezer-burnt pierogies that Abram left us when he moved out
“I think fireworks say ‘knock-knock’ to the world.
— Sullivan on the 4th of July
“I have misgivings about doing anything, because it means I’m not doing everything else.”
— Scott, in the middle of preparing stuff for bulk trash pick-up
“DUCKS!! Hey you, take a picture of the ducks!”
— Sullivan, to one of the photographers during a photoshoot at a public park for Abe & Nina’s wedding
“The mama butterflies will come and bring their babies to stick them into my ear to eat pollen so they can turn into a flower with wings so they can fly!”
— Sullivan’s interpretation of earwax
“No, Sullivan, we’re not going to feed Éa a mouse.”
— Scott, context forgotten
I can’t take a nap, Dad. I’m allergic to naps.
— Sullivan
Meet “Muffler,” a robot Sullivan painted on our living room wall (with Mommy’s permission).
“I need to bring the flashlight outside… because there are some dark spots.”
— Sullivan, getting ready to go to Spring Creek Park during daylight hours
Scott: What did you say? I’m sure it was something very important and full of insight.
Carla: I think I just ate some soapy paint-water.
Sullivan (sheet music in hand): Mama, can you read this?
Carla: No, honey, it’s music. It’s not words.
Sullivan: Oh, well, can you sing it?
Carla: No, it’s piano music.
Sullivan: Well, WE have pirnano!
Carla: But I don’t know how to play the piano.
Sullivan: I know how to play the pirnano: You just press the keys! That’s how you do it!
“I feel the sound of the solar panels inject’ning light into our house.”
— Sullivan, out of the blue
Hey, no meta-chuckles.
— Scott to Carla
“And if her fingernails freeze, they will explode and float all over in the wind of the cold morning.”
— Sullivan, after Carla told him we were pulling over while driving so that she could cover Éa’s fingers because they were cold
“Yo! Ho ho! And a bottle of yo!”
— Sullivan, missing ITLAPD by four months and some liquor—also baffling his parents as to when he found time to read Robert Louis Stevenson.
Sullivan: I’m a postman.
Scott: Well, hello, Mr. Postman!
Sullivan: Daddy, I’m just pretending.
Scott: Well, hello, Mr. Pretend Postman. What are you doing?
Sullivan: I’m delivering mail.
Scott: Well, what are you delivering, Mr. Pretend Postman?
Sullivan: I’m just pretending to deliver.
Scott: Well, what are you pretending to deliver, Mr. Pretend Postman?
Sullivan: I’m delivering a television.
Scott: Oh! To whom are you pretending to deliver a pretend television, Mr. Pretend Postman?
Sullivan: Dadda, I have to tell you something: It’s not a pretend television. It’s real television.
Daddy, I want to decorate the whole, whole, whole EARTH. 🎉
— Sullivan, after walking through downtown State College on New Year’s Eve with me
Sullivan: I forgot my sunglasses. We need to go home to get my sunglasses.
Scott: Why do you need your sunglasses, Sullivan?
Sullivan: Because the sun is a big, hot, round FIREBALL.
One of these photos is of Éa at four days old. The other is of Sullivan at three weeks old. Which one is which?
Scott: Where can we find top shelf bourbon?
Carla: Maybe you could ask for it on FreeCycle? “If anybody’s looking to get rid of their top-shelf bourbon…”
Scott: I’m pretty sure people have other ways to get rid of their top-shelf bourbon…
Sullivan: What’s Mama doing?
Scott: What do you think she is doing?
Sullivan: She is wiping that hanger thinger linger.
Scott: Well, that’s a very good name for it. But most people call it a curtain rod.
Sullivan: Yes…but I’d prefer to call it a hanger thinger linger. OR…a hanger wanger sanger.
What do you do with your excess weatherstrip?