“Mommy and Dada, the other night, when I was asleep, my eyes went ploop! (with hand motions indicating quickly opening eyes) and I looked into my pillow and I saw gray telephone wires. And then I saw a big gray pipe with a gray whistle on the top. When the whistle blew, it was telling us that water was going to come shooting out of the pipe. All that was in my pillow! My PILLOW!”

“Excuse me, Daddy. God didn’t make this dinner. Mommy did! So, thank you, Mommy, for making this good dinner.”

— Sullivan, after Scott says grace

“Sorry, Éa, for peeing in your pants.”

— Sullivan, after peeing in his sister’s pants

“You’re so understanding it’s driving me crazy!”

— Scott, of Carla

Carla: Why were you acting so weird?
Scott: What do you mean? I wasn’t acting weird: I was being MYSELF!

“What is it with you thinking that I’m a snot-o-phage? I am not a snot-o-phage.”

— Scott, defending himself against nose-related insinuations

“Why would we compost them when I can convert them directly into biochemical energy?”

— Scott, answering Carla as to why he was going to eat a bag of freezer-burnt pierogies that Abram left us when he moved out

“I think fireworks say ‘knock-knock’ to the world.

— Sullivan on the 4th of July

“I have misgivings about doing anything, because it means I’m not doing everything else.”

— Scott, in the middle of preparing stuff for bulk trash pick-up

“DUCKS!! Hey you, take a picture of the ducks!”

— Sullivan, to one of the photographers during a photoshoot at a public park for Abe & Nina’s wedding

“The mama butterflies will come and bring their babies to stick them into my ear to eat pollen so they can turn into a flower with wings so they can fly!”

— Sullivan’s interpretation of earwax

“No, Sullivan, we’re not going to feed Éa a mouse.”

— Scott, context forgotten

I can’t take a nap, Dad. I’m allergic to naps.

— Sullivan

Meet “Muffler,” a robot Sullivan painted on our living room wall (with Mommy’s permission).

“I need to bring the flashlight outside… because there are some dark spots.”

— Sullivan, getting ready to go to Spring Creek Park during daylight hours

Scott: What did you say? I’m sure it was something very important and full of insight.
Carla: I think I just ate some soapy paint-water.

Sullivan (sheet music in hand): Mama, can you read this?
Carla: No, honey, it’s music. It’s not words.
Sullivan: Oh, well, can you sing it?
Carla: No, it’s piano music.
Sullivan: Well, WE have pirnano!
Carla: But I don’t know how to play the piano.
Sullivan: I know how to play the pirnano: You just press the keys! That’s how you do it!

“I feel the sound of the solar panels inject’ning light into our house.”

— Sullivan, out of the blue

Hey, no meta-chuckles.

— Scott to Carla

“And if her fingernails freeze, they will explode and float all over in the wind of the cold morning.”

— Sullivan, after Carla told him we were pulling over while driving so that she could cover Éa’s fingers because they were cold

“Yo! Ho ho! And a bottle of yo!”

— Sullivan, missing ITLAPD by four months and some liquor—also baffling his parents as to when he found time to read Robert Louis Stevenson.

Sullivan: I’m a postman.
Scott: Well, hello, Mr. Postman!
Sullivan: Daddy, I’m just pretending.
Scott: Well, hello, Mr. Pretend Postman. What are you doing?
Sullivan: I’m delivering mail.
Scott: Well, what are you delivering, Mr. Pretend Postman?
Sullivan: I’m just pretending to deliver.
Scott: Well, what are you pretending to deliver, Mr. Pretend Postman?
Sullivan: I’m delivering a television.
Scott: Oh! To whom are you pretending to deliver a pretend television, Mr. Pretend Postman?
Sullivan: Dadda, I have to tell you something: It’s not a pretend television. It’s real television.

Daddy, I want to decorate the whole, whole, whole EARTH. 🎉

— Sullivan, after walking through downtown State College on New Year’s Eve with me

Sullivan: I forgot my sunglasses. We need to go home to get my sunglasses.
Scott: Why do you need your sunglasses, Sullivan?
Sullivan: Because the sun is a big, hot, round FIREBALL.

One of these photos is of Éa at four days old. The other is of Sullivan at three weeks old. Which one is which?