My new motto in life is: If it’s not worth doing for free, it’s not worth doing!
— Carla, to Frank
Ugh! I have so many things to think about, but my thinker isn’t big enough!
— Éa
Shots don’t scare me. I could poke needles into my skin all day if it didn’t hurt.
— Éa
My new motto is: “Live every day like it’s your last.” And no, that does not mean find a hospital, go there, find a room and lay down, eyes twitching…
— Sullivan
The problem with being an adolescent is that when you go to rub your beard, you end up pinching yourself.
— Sullivan
“Littering fine”? They think littering’s fine?
— Éa
Éa: What’s a placenta?
Sullivan: What!? You don’t know what a placenta is? Mom, we have failed.
Carla: Why can’t I be a ten-year-old boy? I’ve always wanted to dress like a ten-year-old boy!
Scott: You often do.
[overheard while Sullivan and Éa build a precarious fort]:
Éa: Sully, did you just swear!?
Sullivan: What!? No!
Éa: No really, Sully, did you say the S word?
Sullivan: No! Only Mom does that!
And then I wrapped my ankle brace around my uterus.
— Carla
Carla: Scott, you’re not perfect.
Scott: I know. But I’m trying!
Today, watching a fan while I was supposed to listening in math class, I figured out how servo motors work.
— Sullivan
My feelings aren’t the most articulate bunch of neuronal events.
— Scott
Éa [doing math]: Mom, is two minus six plus ten six?
Carla: Umm…wait a minute…
Éa: Also known as twelve minus six equals six.
Scott: Umm…wait…
Scott: Sometimes I wish I were the smaller one.
Carla: Why, so you could beat me up?
Carla, after a long evening trimming the hedges: Whew, that was a lot of work. Éa, when you grow up, do you want to be the man of the house?
Éa, matter of factly: I hope so.
Oh my gosh. Jesus.
— Carla
Don’t worry: The water on the floor is tears.
— Éa
**Sullivan: **Yeah, even Mimi’s inflatable balls are giant!
[LAUGHTER]
Put that on Familypants, Dad!
Scott: I’m not sure that I will…
If I’m ever going to become a successful scientist, I’m going to need less hair.
— Sullivan
upon seeing Neighbor Dave at his retirement party at The Tavern…
Scott: Do you know what retirement means?
Ea: Yeah! It means giving up.
Carla [complaining that her coffee tastes bad when she is sick]: You don’t know because you forget all negative experiences.
Scott: Actually, I don’t have any negative experiences.
Sullivan: Mom, come look at my parfait!
Carla: Oh, cute! It’s like a happy face.
Sullivan: Well, I was trying to make it look like a icosahedron.
[after Éa enters the room having found a book that had been lost for a year and half]
Carla: Oh, Éa, where did you find it?! Éa: It was where all the lost books are: in a responsible place! 📚
What could be better than co-ambulation with your mother?
— Scott, suggesting to Carla that she join Sullivan on a midday walk